A Beginner’s Guide to Having Good Sex

When you first start exploring sex, it can be intimidating regardless of your affectionate and sexual orientation. Nobody advises you on it; you’re not sure whether you’re truly prepared, and you’re not sure how far you should go. Your sense of self alters as hormones whirl about you. Here are some essential elements for young people who are just starting to experiment with sex.

Don’t hurry into things: you can have a great, loving relationship without having sex. It is critical not to put yourself under any kind of physical pressure in order to establish a physical relationship. Simultaneously, if you want to investigate, don’t let other people’s opinions put you off. Pay attention to what you truly want to do. It’s your body, so go at your own pace. It will feel a little strange and overwhelming at times. And that’s fine. Believe me when I say that sex improves with age. For the time being, try to be true to yourself.

Sex is something that you do WITH each other rather than TO each other. This is quite crucial. We talk a lot about consent, but I believe we should go one step farther – to consensus. You must both agree on what you will do and how you will do it. Respect your own body as well as the wishes of your partner.

Get to know your own body — how it appears, how it feels, and how it moves. Your sexual experience is determined by your relationship with your own body. Love your body, cherish it, and treat it with respect. This is an excellent foundation for sexual well-being.

Talk about sex with each other, preferably before having sex. Perhaps you want to kiss and touch but avoid genital contact. Make it clear what you desire. If you’re not sure, agree that if one of you wants to stop, you’ll both stop. It’s also important to remember that it’s quite fine to alter your opinion. Even if you are in the midst of intercourse, if you want to quit, you must stop. Don’t feel obligated to continue.

Continue to communicate while having sex. Sexual energy is potent, and it shifts swiftly. You’re enjoying the sensations of contact one moment, and then the position feels unpleasant the next. When the other person is having a good time, it can be difficult to say, “I need to change positions.” So check in with one another. “Is this okay?” are some questions that good lovers ask each other during sex. “How does this make you feel?” “Does this situation still suit you?” “What do you want more of?” “What do you want to see less of?” “Do you want less or more pressure?” “Which is faster, faster, or slower?”

The most important thing to remember is that this is a group experience. Sex in real life is not a well orchestrated movie sequence. It’s awkward, amazing, beautiful, difficult, and delightful all at the same time. How do you pull off something that intense? Be true to yourself, respect your partner’s boundaries, and keep talking.